Robert - Update

“I know that once you grow, everything about you grows. Your mind, your spirit, your heart. Everything grows. Once you hurt, everything hurts. And everything remembers… I'm in the same situation as most people in America. I'm like, just trying to work and get ahead. Period. But unlike most people here, whenever I get a chance to do something good for another person, I will.”

Robert was released from the Shelby County Division of Corrections in March 2020, at the age of 22, after having served nearly 8 years in adult jails and prisons. We first met Robert in 2016, when we conducted an interview with him while he was incarcerated. As a member of Incarcerated Youth Speaking Out for Change, the Sheriff’s Office recommended him for parole multiple times, but he was denied in 2016, 2017, 2018, and 2019. He was finally released after he flattened his sentence with earned time.

He was released from prison on March 27th, right as the COVID-19 pandemic was forcing people into quarantine, which delayed his reunification with his family. This interview was conducted in July, as our first follow-up with him since his release. In it, Robert talks about the conditions of his confinement and reflects on what it’s like to be out, after such a long time being on the inside.

To learn more about Robert’s story, please watch our short film ROBERT produced in 2017. Note: There will be a second follow-up interview (to be posted soon), in which Robert talks about re-entry challenges, workforce training, and his current job with The 275 Food Project.

Interview with Robert, conducted by Joann Self Selvidge for The Juvenile Project (TJP) on July 25, 2020 in Memphis, Tennessee.

Robert: My name is Robert Armstrong. And I do give you, Joann, permission to record my face and my voice, and use my name in this video for this purpose.

Joann: Thank you.

Robert: You know, I live in a roomer house, with my uncle?

Joann:  Uh-huh (affirmative).

Robert:  Yeah, we pay half on it. But, mostly I'm there, and he there just to come and shave and wash up, and he gone. It's not a good environment. Except that's where I live, so I lock myself in my room and, just me, my phone, my music, good vibes, positivity. That's it.

Joann: So, I was thinking about it because the last time I actually saw you was April of 2017. Do you remember that when we had the... At the civil rights museum?

Robert: Yep. I was talking to my sister about that yesterday.

Joann: I remember her. That's the first time I saw her.

Robert: Yeah. I got four sisters. But, I think I know the one you're talking about, and her name is Tiffany. She the one that got up and said something to the guy. I forgot about it. But, I let her know that I was coming to visit with you and everything. And she was like, "Okay, cool." And all that other stuff.

Joann: What are your memories about that screening? About that experience?

Robert: At the civil rights museum?

Joann: Yeah.

Robert: I remember the whole day, but I don't remember the details. I remember going, I remember getting there. How we get there in chains and shackles and all that old good stuff. So, I remember when we got there, what's his name? The sheriff now? Sheriff Bonner. He was there with his wife, and he introduced us to his wife. I was there, of course, with the Incarcerated Youth Speaking Out for Change. And we were going... Was I?

Joann: They let all of y'all come.

Robert: Okay, okay, okay.

Joann: Because they got to watch it.

Robert: Yeah. So, I was with the gang. When we got there, I was a little nervous because, I wouldn't say that I got low self esteem, but I got to the point that I don't want any accolades at all. That's where I'm at right now. I'm just a backgrounder. If I say something, it's not even me who's speaking. It's more of message that I'm delivering. So, don't thank me, thank the person who gave me this message to deliver.

Robert: And I'm not even really religious, but I do know this, I really do. I know that once you grow, everything about you grows. Your mind, your spirit, your heart. Everything grows. Once you hurt, every thing hurts. And everything remembers. So, whatever's sending me these messages to tell people, my spirit, my heart, and my mind, whatever it is, wherever it's coming from, I appreciate that.

Robert: That's what you need to be appreciative of. Don't appreciate me as a person because I'm in the same situation as most people in America. I'm like, shit, just trying to work and get ahead. Period. But unlike most people here, whenever I get a chance to do something good for another person, I will. That's what I was just telling the lady who cooked for me. I called her, what did I call her? Cynthia. Yeah, that's her real name. But everybody else call her Aunty. That's kind of disrespectful because all crack head Aunties and you call all crack head men Uncle. Like, "Unk. Aunty. Unk." They're a crack head.

Robert: But I called her Cynthia. I called her Ms. Cynthia because I wanted to give her respect. So I was telling her, she was like, "Well, you can't given me for this stuff?" I was like, "Shit, I could buy this stuff again." I don't need this right now. When I need it, I'll get it. If I really need it, it going to come to me. Period. Because it's just the type of person I am. I know you want me to stay on my guard and recognize where I'm at, and be conscious of what I do, where I put my stuff. I know you want me to do that. But you're not going to change the fact that I like giving stuff to people, and I like seeing people happy. It's not going to happen. So, she respected that.

Robert: We chilled this morning, though. We just laid back. So it was nice. I work downtown, so I need to be as close... Well, I work here, on Mud Island. So, I need to be as close to here as possible. And if I got to give up a little comfort, I'm willing to do that. I know how to keep myself out of trouble and stay out of the way. I know how to do that stuff. So, that's what we're talking about.

Joann: Okay, okay.

Robert: Okay.

Joann: I'll ask you a question. This is good, though. You get the Spirit and you let it flow, right?

Robert: Yeah.

Joann: So, you recently got out of custody.

Robert: Yeah.

Joann: Tell me how you found out you were going to be released.

Robert: It's a crazy question.

Joann: I mean, here we did this film about you.

Robert: Yeah.

Joann: And you kept getting [crosstalk 00:05:30].

Robert: Because, yeah, I was going for parole. And, I'm an optimist. I'm always looking at the world in the brightest light. So, when I got a chance to be free, I'm going to claim it. And the support that I had, I don't know why I didn't get paroled, but hey, stuff happens. So, I didn't get paroled. I got denied parole. I think I got denied parole in 2016, 2017, 2018, and 2019. I probably would have got denied in 2020, too, but I got out in March. I flattened my sentence. I was on a 13 and a half year sentence, I had to do seven years and eight months. When I got to the penal farm, every month that I did, the penal farm gave me 41 days on the backend of my sentence. So my sentence was... I was doing less time on the back end of my sentence than I was on the front end. And after a few years, time expired.

Robert: I looked at my release date every month, faithfully. We get these things called time sheets. But some times the counselor fuck them up, mess them up. So, it can be bad. That happened to me, actually. It was in 2019, in December. I knew that I had four more months left, but the counselor, I mean on the time sheet, it said I get released next month. I was like, "What? In January 2020?"

Robert: When I got it, I just looked at it and I put it in my pocket. And then I laid on my bed and I pulled it of my pocket and looked at it again and I said, "Damn. You're getting out next month." So I called my sister the next morning because we're getting time sheets in the middle of the night. So I called my sister and I said, "Hey, you want to check on my time for me? Just to see where I'm sitting at?" She was like, "Okay, cool." So she gave me my actual date, and I told the counselor, "Bro, never give me another time sheet." I said, "I got this." I said, never give me another one of these." That hurt my feelings. It really hurt. But when I saw the date, I was skeptical a little bit, but I was hopeful at the same... It's crazy. I wanted it to be right so bad. But hey. The real person inside of my said, "You know that's not right. Come on. Suck that shit up."

Joann: So, you knew all the time that you had March?

Robert: No, no. Every... I told you, every year I was expecting to get out on parole. Every single year. When they denied me, they told me to go do something, I did it. They told me not to do something, I stayed out of trouble. They told me to stop doing this, or start, I did everything they told me to do. I stayed out of trouble. I got in no fights. I probably got three write ups and they were all, "Out of place, out of place, out of place." And the reason I got those write ups is because I was a worker. We wore these vests. Either they're green or orange. So we wore these vests, and we got the green light to move around the compound. Basically as we pleased, but it depends on who you're working with, who you're working for, and where you're working at.

At the time, I was working in the F1 building. It's right there on the free side, right there we shot it, yeah. So, boom. I was working there. So, I took my vest off, I go to the bathroom. Well, I took my vest off to go to the bathroom. So, as I'm leaving the bathroom, I walk out the building, and I go to the kitchen. All the way up the hill. F1 building is down the hill, and the kitchen is up a big huge hill. So I walk all the way up the hill without a vest on, just walking.

At this time, I got complacent. Time is a very, very... I don't know what to say. Very... It's one of those things you can lose track of very easily. I don't know. Like when you make a plan or goal, be sure to include time, seriously. Because you can lose track of time. At this point, I got complacent. I'm fixing to tell you a lot of stuff. We fixing to be here, because I been wanting to tell somebody this stuff. But at this time, I got complacent. I got used to just being there. Shoot, I always want peaches and cream. Most of the time it was never peaches and cream. I got so happy when it was peaches and cream. So, I got a little complacent that day. I'm walking up the hill, just about to go get something to eat.

His name's Lieutenant Jackson. Yeah. Action Jackson. He got no love for anybody. Some guards got love for inmates they feel sorry for. I won't say they got love, they do feel genuine sympathy for us. Some of them just there. That guy, he hate inmates. Whenever he get a chance, he was always going to mess somebody's time off. That's what we called it, when you get a write up, they mess your time up because you don't get the credits on the back end. So, he ready to do that anyway.

So he stopped me. "Where you going?" "I'm fixing to go get something to eat." He'd say, "You're out of place." I said, "No I'm not, I'm at work." He'd say, "Ya'll don't work up here." I was like, "I know, I work in F1 building." "No, [inaudible 00:11:16], the F1 building. Where your vest at? Whose your officer?" All type of stuff. So, I was trying to talk my way out of it. I was like, "Come on, Luth." Trying to hit him with some jailhouse talk. "Come on, man, you going to do me like, you going to mess my time up for going... I just... no."

And most of the time, they like, "All right, mate, stay out the way." But that guy, that particular time, he was like, "I don't give a fuck. You lying any damn way. I'm fixing to write your ass. Give me your ID." Gave him my ID, I left it at the... I didn't beat the write up, however, I did get to keep my job because a lady named Ms. Clemens, shout of to Ms. Clemens over here, a lady named Ms Clemens, she loves me like her son. And she hates when I get in trouble, which is very rare. So, she hates that. This how motherly she is. She pulled me in her office and she talked to me about all the bad things that could happen to me in my life if I continue to make bad decisions. And all I got to do is sit there and listen. Because in about 30 minutes she'll be done talking, and another person is going to come in there and she going to talk to him.

But she going to talk about me to him. And this is what she going to say. She going to make me tell my entire story. She going to say, "Robert, how long have you been locked up?" I'm like, "Really, Ms. Clemens? It's not the time for that." So she like, "No tell him, because he young like you." That's what she wanted me to do. I wish I would have did more of it, be more active and... I got to tell you about I building. That was... Shit. I wish I would have did more of it and been more active on that little stage, but I’m telling you, I like the background. I pull people's coat tails. Liberate you tripping. Come and holler at me, if you need something, holler at me. I’m kinda like the young old head. I guess you could say that. I never say it. It's kind of true.

Because I hung around old people and I sucked their wisdom and gain and knowledge. I just sat back and listened. "Okay." So, that's what I did. So, I probably told me story to a lot of Ms. Clemens' bad kids. I guess you could say bad kids. Let me see. [inaudible 00:13:53]. Let me tell you about this, Joann. This shit is crazy.

It's a program called MRT. Is it MRT? No, it's a program. It's an acronym. Though, it means Shelby County, yes, MSCOR. Memphis and Shelby County. No, Memphis and Shelby County Office of Reentry. Yeah, MSCOR. So, I'm in that program, in I building, and it's a therapeutic community. Wow. That phrase gives me chills. Can you imagine being watched, but not being watched? We were in a dorm with no officers. It's just straight inmates, and the officers weren't even in the building.

There was two types of people in the building. Inmates and counselors. The counselors always locked themselves in their offices, and we had to police ourselves. That was tough. First of all, everybody is doing wrong in there. You got to know that. You got to know there's not a saint in jail. I'm convinced. Well, not really. There are saints in jail, but for the most part, everybody using the phone that they not supposed to use, or smoking cigarettes, smoking weed. Some people doing heroin. What's that other shit? [inaudible 00:15:17] strips. What's that other shit? Drugs. Street drugs, in jail.

So, if you had a street habit, and you came to jail, you going to get hooked back on your street drug unless you smoked cigarettes and went to church, or stayed in books like I did. Seriously. But if you had too much time on your hands, and you didn't work, you were going to do some bad stuff. The worse I did was some a little weed. I still smoke cigarettes. I'm stressed the fuck out. That's to be honest. I conceal it. I don't conceal it. I got a different way of dealing with stress. I pile all my stress up in a week and I'm like, "Okay, let's deal with this shit." So, Sundays, I vent to myself and I don't come out.

Probably the worst I did. Other than that, a cellphone. I got caught with it. But I made parole, so...

Joann: But you didn't ever actually make parole.

Robert: No, I never actually made parole.

Joann: So, we could talk about this for hours. And I think that we're going to have to have some followup to our followup. But, just for the purpose of moving along to the outside.

Robert: Oh yeah.

Joann: Tell me how you got out.

Robert: Okay. I got out. I completed my time.

Joann: So, tell me when you found out it was going to be in March. And, what were you...

Robert: I found out it was going to be in March. Well, it was actually in January. Like, [inaudible 00:16:59]. It was in January. But when I got those two write ups, when I got those three write ups, they pushed my date back. The first write up that I got, it got what they call "9 9 9.” Manna from the gods. But, hey.

Second two write ups, no manna. I had to deal with it. So, after I got my second write up, I moved to a different building. From I building I moved to G building. I didn't get put out, but I did. The guy who ran the building, over Ms. Clemens, he came in there ranting talking about some, "If anybody want to leave today, y'all can go right now. Especially if you got a write up. If you got a write up, I'm putting you out." And I'm knowing that whatever Ms. Clemens say really goes, and he just a front piece. But it was one of those days. I was like... His name Mr. Avery. I guess I'll give him a shout out too. I'm like, "Well, let's do it up." Because most of the time, I'm chilling. I ain't going to say too much at all. I know better. I don't care what's going on. But if I feel like a person is directing something at me... Because, he kind of felt like Ms. Clemens was protecting me his barrage of write ups that he wanted to give me every day. And he hated that I didn't talk to him.

He was like, "Okay, you're so smart, but you not smart." I'm like, "What the fuck does that mean?" I was like, "People always say that you're smart that you're not smart. You're so smart that you're dumb." I was like, "Whenever you can explain to me what that means, then we can talk. But up until then, I'm so smart that you're dumb." So, we had a good relationship.

So, I got up and told Mr. Avery, "Well, Mr. Avery," I put on my big lion pelt. I was like, "Well, Mr. Avery, I'll be the one who leave this building." Not in that language, but, I was like, "Since you telling people if you got a write up, I got a write up. I'll leave. Matter fact, I'll go pack my stuff up right now." I live right on 20 bunk. 20 bunk is the first bunk and the last bunk. So, when I walked out of the day room that we were in, I was in my bunk packing my stuff. He was like, "You for real?" I'm like, "I'm dead serious. You're not fixing to keep talking to me like this. I'm a grown man." I said, "I put up with this stuff because I got to. I feel like this in my best interest at this moment. But right now, at this point, I'm saying I'm sick of this shit."

I told them, "I don't know if I'm coming back or if I'm not, but right now, I need a break from this, this therapeutic community." Let me tell you why I mentioned the therapeutic community. Everybody doing bad. But when a person get mad at another person, they going to write a [inaudible 00:19:45], try to cross them out. It was just messed up. The eight hours that I was going was the best eight of my life. When I got back, I got in the shower and I went to sleep. Got on the phone, played some dominoes. But for the most part, working. I'm tired, I'm going to sleep.

Weekend, I kick it on the weekend. Slept late. But anyway. So I left I building and went to G building. G building is the mental health building. I got to G building because Ms. Clemens told me, "I don't care about you leaving my building. You still fixing to go to a therapeutic community." I said, "I'm fixing to go to population. I fixing to go be a thug." That's what I told her. She like, "No you not." I was like, "No, I'm not."

But I did go to population for two days. So I went to D building. After D building I went to G building. Mental health. Mental health is a bad thing, but it's worse in jail, I'll tell you that. Because people don't take their medicines. And then the medicine they give these people is so strong they had them slobbering all day. So, in a word, mental health building's slow. It was a slow three months. And went back to I building. I was ready to go the next week. I wrote Ms. Clemens a sorry note. I was so sorry. This is what it said. I said, "I'm so sorry." This is not what it said, but this is what it sounds like. "I'm so sorry, please accept me back into your building. I'll be good, this time." Some shit like that. But it was verbose.

Joann: Really?

Robert: It was long, I'm telling you. The first page probably said I'm sorry. The second page, please accept me back. I'll be good, the third page. To sum it all up. So, she came back and got me. No, matter fact, she didn't come to get me, she asked me did I want to come back. It's always a power struggle in jail. Inmates don't have power. Guards got power. Inmates struggling for power. Guards don't want to relinquish it. So, I take pride when she asked me back. So, maybe I'll think about it. I told her I'd think about it.

I thought about it. Took about 10 minutes to think about. I was like, "Yeah, tell her to come and get me. ASAP. I can't keep doing this." So I went back to I building. Get back to I building. I tried. I tried to like it, but it changed so much. Everybody was still snitching, but nobody was doing bad. I was like, these people don't even talk in the line. We got to walk in lines, long ass lines, we got to be quiet. I was like, "Ya'll not even talking." And I'm in the front. She wanted me to be in the front of the line. Be, "Yeah, I'm not talking for you, I'm scared of her." I'm, "Are you bullshitting?" Like, "Yeah, I'm bullshitting." So, anyway.

I wasn't being naughty. I wasn't being bad. I was being mischievous. There was a lot of worse stuff that I could have done. So, stayed in the I building for almost the rest of my time, until I was getting tired again. I got my job back. Everything still going smooth. [inaudible 00:23:07] was still there. To top that off, in the middle of me getting back into I building, they moved Mr. Avery away for three weeks, because they were trying to open up AOC. And they did actually open up AOC, and they needed him to be one of the people opened it up because they know how he is. He's a good counselor. Seriously. As a counselor, he's very good at what he does. But as a person, he sucks at that. I told him, "You need to choose you another lifestyle. Whatever you doing outside of this ain't working for you, because you come back and bringing too much stuff to us." He'd be like, "Well, I don't even think about you all when I'm gone." "Well, you think about them when you're here." Why would you... Of course you... Don't take work home, but don't bring home to work.

"I don't take my work home." "Okay, but what's the opposite side? That's what we getting." So anyway, they moved him about three weeks. Best three weeks of my life. It was like I could breath. But obviously, it was not the best three weeks of Ms. Clemens' life. She begged administration to bring him back. We got Ms. McChristian. Her and Ms. McChristian bumped heads because they were both headstrong. I was like, "Ms. McChristian is cool." I'd get off at work, "You had a good day at work?" Stuff like that. Just small stuff. Just make a person smile. I don't want to have a long conversation, but just small stuff. That'll be good. That'll be nice. I'm in jail. I don't need to keep talking to you about what's going on.

Some people need that. Some people really do need that. Some people need somebody to talk to, but I'm not that type of person. I don't need that everyday. Some people really do. I need that probably once a month. But other than that, I'm dealing with that stuff. Come on, let's go on and deal with it. It's a job. Let's come on. Lay it all on the table. Let's keep it real myself. Tell myself why I'm doing shit and that, what areas I can be better in. Just small stuff.

So, after I left I building, I went to P building because they opened up the actual re-entry door. P building was off limits to me for a very long time because I was always a level four, considering my charge, I couldn't become a minimum security inmate. I was always medium security. I could never go to P building. P building was lit. No counselors. Straight officers. But the vibe was chill. Ain't nobody in there dying. Nobody was fighting a lot. Half the building worked on the outside, so half the building was always gone. I still had my same job in the law library, so I was good. That's some shit. P building was cool. And then, we didn't have the program.

I wanted to talk to you about the program because that shits traumatic. That's a joke, but that shit is. That's a joke. That shits traumatic, though.

Joann: Is it re-traumatizing, or it's just like traumatic because you just had to deal with it?

Robert: Yeah. Everyday you got to listen to another person in the same situation that you're in, telling you what you can and can't do. "Time out, calm down, let's stop for a second. Are we not in the same shoe? Do we not walk down the same walk way? Are me and you not room mates? Do we got to see each other more than we see each other's families?" I don't get that. I don't know. I don't get that. But, I considered myself... I want to consider myself highly responsible, but I know it's... I leave my stuff sitting around a lot. So, that's not very responsible. I guess the biggest thing that I still do to this day, because it's a habit. I did it in jail. I left my stuff. Nobody ever touched it. Cool. Everywhere I went, nobody never touched my stuff. Left in on my bed. If I leave it in the bathroom... It don't be nothing. A pen, or some paper, a book. But now I leave my phone, charger. Yeah, that's not good. And where I live, not good at all.

But I consider myself a responsible person in the end. If I make a commitment to something, I'm going to do it. I give my word, I'm going to carry out my word. Period. No strings attached at all. That's my word. I got to do this. So, I'm responsible. Of course, I do not blame people for my actions. I don't blame people for their own actions. For the most part, it's just a decision you made, and you got to live with it. Everybody's not responsible, so some people need to be policed by their peers. I was talking about the program just a little bit.

Joann: Yeah, [inaudible 00:28:30].

Robert: I'm responsible, so I don't need people policing me. I don't need people telling me when I got to get up. People literally, "5:30, bro. Make your bed up." "Stop knocking on my bed. [inaudible 00:28:46]" I'm programmed for this. So, back to P building. So P building, it was super chill. It was super chill. No programming. We just sitting there. I'm going to work every day. Well, most of the time I went to work, till the corona virus came. Then I was fixing to go home. But most of the time we just sat there and just chilled.

Joann: What happened when the corona virus came? How early was this?

Robert: Corona virus came for the penal farm in March.

Joann:  But how many weeks were you...

Robert: I had four weeks. Four weeks. Four even weeks when they first started making us doing weird stuff for corona virus. In all honesty, they literally made us do weird shit. They told us to stay six feet apart while we're walking together. So, it was probably 10 people walking at a time. But as soon as the whole building go to the shoot where we eat out of, they just bunched us right back up. And we had to walk down the shoot and shit. Three people to a table. They were like, "What the fuck?" Man, it was crazy.

Joann:

Did anybody have masks?

Robert: No. They didn't even put soap in sinks for us. We were like, "Bro, put soaps in the sink. At least bring us some hand sanitizer." They had a big bottle of hand sanitizer in the officers bubble. Like, "Please bring us some hand sanitizer, something. Bring the broom and mop in here every four hours or something."

Joann: Did you know people that were getting sick?

Robert: Mm-mmm (negative). But, two people actually did get sick out of P building because they going... Well, they worked at the Waffle House, so they did get sick, and they had to quarantine them. When they got sick, then they moved all the workers from P building to the main building, which is supposed to be closed. It's supposed to be filled with asbestos. It's supposed to be off limits. It's supposed to be shut down. It's supposed to be torn down. But, yeah, that's for the record.

So they moved them all the way back to that rat infested place. Roach infested. Asbestos infested place. And they quarantined them. Quote, unquote, quarantined them. It was just in another dorm, like we were. It just went into the community every day and brought diseases back to the prison. It was stupid. Yep. Got to love the [inaudible 00:31:41] County Government. Got to love them.

Joann: Well, tell me about the day you got released. When was it?

Robert: So, the day that I got released. A good day. It was a good day. You can take a picture of that. It was a good day. That's a big smile. I'm going to be, "Nah, I don't like that." I didn't... Oh yeah, I quit my job a week before. Everything, that last four weeks really worked on my nerves. Everything was getting to me. Like, "Please stop talking to me. I'm not here. I'm a ghost." And then, on top of that, nobody wanted to give me stuff. I couldn't call my family for any more money. Nobody had minutes on their phone. My homies in the dorm, "Man, you fixing to go home, you do need to [inaudible 00:32:32]." I'm like, "Damn." Like, "Feed me. I'm hurting." Like, "Man, you fixing to go eat steak and potatoes." That's what I did, soon as I got out.

But the day was long. It was long as hell. Did I go to sleep that night? Maybe not. Especially stuff happening, just going to wait on it. I'm going to wait on it. I don't even want to sleep the night before. I'm still a kid on Christmas day. So that morning, I didn't eat. I didn't eat the breakfast that morning. Gave lunch away because at lunch, about two hours, lunch is at 11:00. About an hour later they should have been releasing me, but they weren't. So at 12:00 I was pissed. At 1:00 I was ready to go write something to the mayor. At 2:00 I was on the phone. About 3:00 they called me, called my name. And guess where I was? I was out of place. Yeah. Dude.

The only person that I met in jail that's been all the way real, and did as much time as I did. While he was a kid. He out to this day. He out right now. He just told me happy birthday, too. But he out, though. And we look just alike, though. His face a little bit bigger than mine. But they moved him to the next dorm because he got fired from his job. I'm like, hell, I got to go kick it with Bro. I call him my brother. He's my brother. For real. We met in G building. I left I building, we met in G building. So anyway, when they moved him, I didn't even want to be in the dorm. I wrote grievances for him because he got a bullshit write up. So I tried to dispute it for him, because I was working in the law library. I had more access to the policies at [inaudible 00:34:48] County Penal Farm.

They didn't listen. They don't listen. So, I was chilling with him when they called my name in the other dorm. The shift had changed, everything. They did count. I was off the count sheet. So, the count was wrong. "What the hell is going on?" They done called the code. I was off the count sheet, though, because in the computer I was already released. I don't even know if that's legal. It's crazy though.

The thing is, check this out, I learned this too. In the penal farm, well, in any jail, well, I can only speak about the penal farm, they don't get the money from you until 12:00 in the evening. So, they going to try to hold you until after 12:00. They used to release people at 6:00 at night, but now they release people around 1:00 and 2:00. They released me at 4:30. So, when I got released, I walked up to AOC. Got in the bus, went to AOC.

Joann: What's AOC?

Robert: You got the main compound, then you have that place that was closed, with the red roofs. That's AOC. Rebuild us. They got it up and running. One building is the main building where everything goes on. Intake, different agencies come and drop people off, all of those shit. Two and three building is men's building and the women's building, respectively. I get the one building. We get back in some street clothes, I guess you can call it that. So, the reason I got released at 4:30, it had nothing to do what I was doing in the dorm. It had everything to do with the sergeant. This lady was talking on the phone. Now we waiting on her for 30 minutes now. All she got to do, literally, all she got to do is pick up a piece of paper and call our names out, and we got to give her our ID badges and she going to let us out the door. Period.
So, I'm sitting there like, that shit's crazy. So, after the first conversation, "I hope she let us go, now." So she started chit chatting with another, I think this lady worked in inmate finances, and she started talking to her. I'm okay. I'll wait. I'm patient. I've been waiting for a minute. Something told me, "Fuck that. No, it's your turn to go. I'm through waiting on these people." So I told her, "Sergeant," I forgot her name. I think her name was Henderson or Jones, or some crazy shit. I was like, "Sarge, I don't mean no harm, but I got to go." I stood up and I started walking towards the door. She's like, "You can't leave!" I was like, "Yes I can. It's my release date." So, she was like, "Who you think you're with? What you think this is? You want to act up when it's time to go?"

I was like, "No, you wanted to waste my time when it was time for me to go. I got stuff to do. I got a whole person out there waiting on me. She been waiting on me for 30 minutes." I was like, "What am I supposed to do, wait on you?" She was like, "That what you better do." I said, "You know, I've been waiting eight years. I guess I'm just going to wait a little bit longer." I just left it at that and she kept going. I just sat back. After a while, not after a while, probably after she got her last demeaning comments out, her last degradations out, yeah, put that in there. After she got her last degradations out, she started calling out names. Everything went in alphabetical order, just like school. Look at this shit.

So, I was first. Shit. Man, I couldn't wait to leave. I walked out that door so fast. So I get to the car, I get in the car I say, "Whew, that's so light." I keep everything light. I said, "That took long enough." She said, "What took long enough." I said, "All the fucking years." So, I was just happy to be out. I was just enjoying the vibes. Just chilling, laid back, and just free.

I wanted to see my family. As soon as I got out... Actually, my sister told me this about two weeks later. She like, "Robert, you know when you got out, you called." First, my little brother lost five dollars on a bet because he didn't think I was getting out. He like, "He always say he getting out. Every year he talk about he getting out. He ain't getting out." So he lost his five dollars to my other little brother, my baby brother. He was like, "My brother getting out, I don't care what you say."

So, evidently, while I was going through my stuff on the last day, they was sitting by the phone, my one cellphone. You can imagine that, around one cellphone, waiting on it to ring. The first time it rang, it was from crazy ass number trying to scam them. The second time it rang, [inaudible 00:40:20] another bit. My sister won $10. "I bet this is Robert right here." So I got a chance to talk to them. While I was talking to them, it was kind of like this. Kind of nervous. It takes some getting used to. I was jittery. Happy to hear from them, but very angry that I couldn't see them. I was. I was angry that I couldn't see them. I wasn't angry at nobody, not even myself. I was angry at the world for being so messed up.

Like, "Hey, God. Great for releasing me, but not so good on the covid release."

Joann: Was that why you were...

Robert: Yeah.

Joann: Were you quarantined?

Robert: Hmm?

Joann: Was that why you weren't able to see them, just because you had [crosstalk 00:41:10]?

Robert: Yeah, just because of covid. When I was there, I did what I did. I kept myself safe. I didn't have a mask or anything, but I made sure I washed my hands every few minutes. Seriously. Every time I thought about it. Because we were getting barged with this shit. All we did was watch the news. So, all day is incoming streams of covid information. Like, "Ya'll need to wash your hands and wear these masks." So, personally, I don't watch the news because of the express purposes of how much of an impact it had on my decision making. I never liked that. I never like when one thing can have so much influence on how I make decisions. No. If I do something, I'm going to do it because I know it's right for me. Not because this information that I've been fed.

If it's true, if it's not, it's a good thing. But, I was abusing the shit online for real. Scared as hell. I can't get out and have corona virus. And I could not get out and get corona virus. So, I was really big on that. I washed all my clothes on my hand. I ain't send them out to the wash or nothing. Everything. Changed my own sheets. I [inaudible 00:42:26].

I can talk about jail probably forever.

Joann: So, tell me the day you got out, and what...

Robert: Oh yeah, [inaudible 00:42:34].

Joann: Just tell me the date, and then tell me how soon it was you were able to see your family.

Robert: I got out March 27th, 2020. I saw my oldest sister, whom I've never seen before then, I saw her for the first time about three days after that. Because she was willing to meet, what's the park? Overton Park?

Joann: Yeah.

Robert: And drive by herself and respect the six feet of distance and what not. And, the only reason I wasn't able to see my sisters and brothers is because I knew that when we got together, it wasn't going to be no six feet apart. And I respected their [inaudible 00:43:18] so much that I was willing to stay away from them, on my own. Because I know what we're going to do. We're fixing to party. As soon as I see them, that what we about to do. That what we about to do now. Every chance we get. We're a family. We're a big family. My momma got eight kids. We don't got many friends. We kick it with each other. We're real tight, and we're real close.

So, about two or three... Well, about, I know exactly what day it was, shit, because it was exactly three weeks, exactly, to the date, that I got out. It was exactly three weeks, on the Friday. I got out on a Friday. It was a Friday that I went over to my sister's house. When I got to my sister's place in East Memphis, everybody there. Everybody's living there. As soon as I walked through the door and I saw everybody was living there, I said, "I'm about to come and stay here." Every Monday I'm saying I can't wait to go back to East Memphis. I hate North Memphis. I don't even know why I'm saying that. I'm from North Memphis. I hate North Memphis.

But there was everybody there. My brothers. All my... Tequila got custody over the boys, but the boys are, they're half what [inaudible 00:44:36].

Joann: How young are they? How young is the youngest?

Robert: The youngest? Hold on, let me count. Julie is the 17. 17, 16, 15. So the youngest is 13 now. His name is Ray. And you wouldn't even believe he was 17. He's about six feet. I think he's an inch taller than me, or I'm an inch taller than him.

Joann: Wait, the 17 year old or the 13 year old?

Robert: 13 year old. When I stand up, after so many years of being back there, your back mess up. So when I stand up, I kind of stoop. Plus, I'm lazy as hell. Well, I ain't lazy. I'm like a cat. I try not to make as many movements. I try to make as least movements as I can. You need to see this shit.

Joann: Yep.

Robert: I mean, at work I be... "Grab the damn thing." They're fixing to see how I'm going to grab all this shit in one hand and put all of that in this hand. That's what I'm looking at.

Joann: Efficiency of movement.

Robert: Yeah, efficiency of movement.